All this talk about finding work life balance. Is it just me, or does just the term balance stress you out a teeny bit? I hear so many parents looking for the right balance to all the things we do. But sometimes it feels like “balance” means standing on one foot on a teeter totter holding fine china that belongs to the Queen and throwing knifes in the air trying not to kill yourself, while an elephant juggles on the other side of the totter and giant hungry alligators swim below you. No big deal. 

While we search for balance, I wonder if we become our own worst enemies sometimes. We strive to do it all and make it all fit. Job success. Happy and busy kids. A clean and Pinterest-worthy home. A envy-inducing social life and a partnership that is solidified by exotic date nights every week. But somehow there’s always a piece missing, something out of place and that makes us feel less than. 

I read somewhere in the World Wide Web (and please excuse as my mom brain and limited time for research has not allowed me to put my finger on the credits) something that really landed with me. What if, instead of it being about balance, we framed it about blend? Hear me out. 

If we imagine that our lives are paint pallets instead of scales of perfection, then it might be about giving to part of ourselves that needs the colour at any given time. Work in a crunch period? Then our job gets a little more of us, but weeks later our families need more and the blend goes there. Some days we need to focus on self-care and our parenting might take a tiny hit, but that’s ok because later we blend more into giving our kids our all while work and social lives take a back seat for a beat. It in fact becomes not about always staying on a precarious balance, but rather about tipping in the right direction when it is needed. 

For me this was a huge relief to think about, and it fit way better than the strive for balance. Sometimes we need a different mix and we do what we need at any given moment, and that’s a good thing. It doesn’t make us unbalanced failures, it makes us human. And gives us space to be imperfect.  Maybe you don’t get the time to look beautiful for school pick up, but you feel confident you’ve given what you’ve got at any given moment in the part of life that needs it the most.  And maybe, just maybe, you then grow kids who know that making mistakes happens and have learned from you how to be compassionate towards the self.  Now, wouldn’t that be nice?